Outta My Mind .... Outta My Head ???

where am I ? how do I ? it's been too long since I've been here, I've forgotten how to do things like editing .... how do I delete some of the ones I used to read that are no longer blogging ... I'd like that list of the ones I read on the blog page - how do I move them to there ? Help will be appreciated . :-)

I think i am on another roller coaster ride with .... me , myself, and I ! what a day ... I slept till 3 PM ..... got my meds all outta whack ..... hubby came home at 4:30 PM ---- hungry .... I didn't cook , had to go out to Pizza Hut to get wings for him , gas up his truck , buy lotto 5 tickets , get rub off tickets . sheessssssh . then back home to wash clothes for his work tomorrow ..... 2 loads . I had soup .... veg beef soup w/ crackers .

You Are 22 Years Old

22 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

geeezzzzz I feel about 17 ..... guess I'm just gettin old ...... lmbo

well I was off to Home Depot again today ..... hubby Had to have a new chain saw ( $ 200) .... the one he had worked fine for the boy .... for the man it wouldn't restart ( he flooded it when he turned it off { comes from givin it gas then then shut it off right then }) .... duhhh ..... so now he is talking about a new weed-eater and 4 new tires for his duley .... But he's in a good mood .... called me "babydoll" .... omg .... faints .... he's been in a good mood since he got home .... even helped me give the goat his Thursday shot ( antibiotics ) I told him he had to hold him ...... blasted goat still has sinusitis and "hay belly " vet told me not to let him eat too much clover for a while ...... I took him Tuesday afternoon cost me $ 12 (not bad) he got 3 shots and 1 to bring home for Thursday ...... poor old goat looks like He is about ready to drop His baby or babies ..... LOL ....... man says they are thru with the downed trees .... now he can mow n weed-eat ..... he took off a few days from the shop to work here at home ..... pssstttt while I was at Home Depot I found me a can of Blue Paint .... think I'll paint the utility room with it maybe even the laundry room .... yesssss yessssss .... $5 for the gallon .... I love the oops at home depot ..... speciality blended but rejected by a customer at 35 $ they sell it for 5 $
..... I love it I love it

well I did get the bath braces up .. had to buy New wood ( again) 2 of the 4 split ...... so I bought the next size up ........ I got doorbell # 2 installed ... inbetween the rain that day ..... daughter M brought me some 72 " blinds ..... sooooo I will take down the 23 " ones that I had son help me put up ..... I want to spray paint them first tho ... they are white .... ewwwww ..... Fusion Paint great new thing ........ it has rained almost every day at some point with the exception of the days I could Not be outside ....... I gave away alot of the plants I had but I still have 3 tomato plants and 2 bell pepper plants to plant ..... do not know when I will get them planted .... had a bad wind storm yesterday afternoon ( with some rain {of course} ) I did not get finished mowing ..... neighbors came and moved one tree that fell across the driveway ( son was gone ) ... our road is 1 mile long we live 1/2 way on it .. from our driveway to the road on one end had 4 trees to fall .... and 1 the other way .... of course it took out the cable on our side and the electric on the other side of the road ..... hubby came home ... went to work at regular job ..... then one day at lunch he came home and said ..... pack me a bag ..... I did not know what kind of bag until he told me ..... so he's out n off to work again .... due home anyday now . had a great fourth ..... family .... food .... fireworks ..... and sleep . LOL .... the weatherman said ..... low possibility of rain for a few days .... looks at wood in living room floor ...... wondering . Oh and I forgot to tell you I had to buy a new push mower ( $198) for hubby .

well this morning I washed a load of laundry ..... unloaded the dishwasher .... ran it ..... did another load of laundry ..... made my bed .... had lunch ..... bagged up all the garbage ... loaded it in the truck ... stopped by oldest son's got his garbage and him .... took it off ... he unloaded it .... took him to the store bought him a pack of cig and a six pack of beer .... took him home .... came home .... did third load of laundry .... middle son came by before all that .... he didn't bring me the wood pieces I needed so I didn't get my bath closet shelves braced ... he told me how to fix them the best way .... I will go to Wal-Mart tomorrow and buy the correct screws I need for that and another project ( installing doorbell # 2 ) then maybe I can finish the blinds for the porch ...... it has rained most of the day here and I hear again tomorrow .... I know rain is good for plants but sheeshhhhh ..... I really need to get to work on son # 3's wood for his truck bed , I can't if it is damp outside ..... I did hear yesterday about daughter M , her surgery went well and she went home .... I am soooo relieved .... I need for it to dry up so son # 3 can till a garden spot for me ..... hubby brought home toooo many tomato plants .... I have to plant them ( no choice ) .... I can't let good tomato plants die ..... more later I suppose ....... it is sooooo peaceful the last two days and nights ..... no blaring tv making me deafer than I already am ..... I am really enjoying this quiet time ..... ok I just heard Hazel open the cabinet door ..... it must have thundered , she got in it yesterday when it stormed ..... crazy cat !!!

well for a while at least maybe 2 weeks .... he called when he got there ..... did not kiss me bye ... did not tell me he loved me when he called just said bye .... he was civil tho ... thank you God ..... he told me a list for the boy to do ..... he started on them when he got home today ..... I straightened up the house when I got back home this morning ..... it was a mess from where I packed , washed and packed his stuff ...... after I had washed some he wore them .... so I had to wash and pack them again ..... yes he has clothes in the closet and drawers .... no he won't get them out if I don't lay them out for him ... the man !!! I should never started waiting on him hand and foot when I met him ...... but I felt sorry for him ... he worked 2 jobs and he works hard ... My mistake ! I didn't know what it was like to be pampered .... treat others like you want to be treated .... yeah right ..... slave I am . Hostile I am too now . I didn't even ask the kids over because I didn't want him showing his behind in front of them ..... he did pretty well when the girls were here ... I was surprised . so now I wonder if I can get any of my projects finished while he is gone . wish me luck ..... roflmbo

well the man is going to look at a '67 Mustang tomorrow .... like he needs one ..... just another way to spend more money ..... why is he like this ??? I do not know .... really I don't !

well here I am again ..... seems the only time I blog is after he blows-up ..... tonight he went off on the boy ... I looked for the boy to blow back ..... he didn't just didn't want to deal with the man .... he is so petty ..... had a fit b/c the boy brought home a load of scrap to sell so he would have money .... man told me to tell the boy to unload it -- over there .... for weeks he has not talked to me , no more than 10 words a day on long days like a Saturday other than that the man is just sulking ..... tonight we heard how much of stupid idiots we are .... well so did his bro on the phone .... I know it makes him feel like a big man , he should know it makes him look like what he calls us

the man drives me nuts .... today ..... graduation of last child from high school ...... he goes with a few of us .... he sits and cries all thru the program .... no whining or anything just tears ..... he behaves himself for a change ..... good gawd what's going on with him ??? if ya figure it out let me know , would ya ...... lmbo ...... he did not get drunk today either after we got home .... wow .... oh and he gave son $500 .... he just can't stand having money without spending it ..... I thought signing over the truck to the boy would be enough .... guess not !!! he said to do that tooooo ..... men !!!!! Oh and on May 7th when we went to wally world we also went to home depot and lowe's ... guess what ..... we spent $1750 on a riding mower .... spend spend spend .... wish I had that kind of money .

well I think the man feels better today ... we went to Home Depot spent $543 on a pressure washer ... his idea ... he Had to have it .... I'm still ticked off .... he went to bed without a tee shirt ..... ya think he wants sex ??? ... do I care .... No

ok so today he had a fit cussin screamin yellin ..... he looked at the check book ... bank statements .... paycheck stubs .... I found out what I already knew ... he doesn't know how to read them ... ok so I had to explain it all to him ..... I still didn't have enough money saved .... no surprise there either ... so he's putting me on a budget I can only have a 40 hours week worth of money ..... LOL .... I will Not include beer or liquior it that .... lmao ..... he can kiss mine ........ after all that is not needed to run this household or buy grocerys

he's been home a week ... dyin to spend money ... he went and looked at a Kuboda tractor not a lawn riding mower ... one he likes is $10,000 the other is $12,000 .... but he wants a building to put it in .... now he's decided to go to wal-mart and get a $900 + riding mower and build a shed .... also to put sides on the goat shed ... I thought he really wanted a "building" (cost over $5000) on that .... I wonder what we are going to live on after he is retired .... he says I should save money when he's out of town ... I do but he thinks I should have saved alot more than I did .... he says we don't have that many bills .... how does he know ? he never asks or understands if I try to tell him , he says " oh bullchit" or hollers pay them off .... I say "with what" ? when he's out of town he calls and says " go get" or I gotta have ___ when I get back ... now it's clothes he's gotta have ... shirt $30 each pants are $ 13 ... means I need to buy 8 each .... how am I supposed to save money if he has me going out and spending it ?? .... so Wal-Mart here we come

well i did not fix jello .... it all has red 40 in it ... some had yellow 6 .... i did fix kool-aid ... watermelon ... no cupcakes either .... and no i did not take any ty3 ..... i mowed the front lawn .... great for the knee pains and back pains and the shoulders pains ... if ya believe that i got some swamp land i wanna sell ya ...... i ran outta gas .... refilled it after i had me a smoke and pepsi break .... laffsssss ..... i saw da neighbors peeking thru the curtains .... i think they thought i was gonna slip n fall .... they'd laugh ..... i know they would .... i would have to laugh too ..... well i did laugh ..... it was hot out there .... i did get to play poker ... yeaaaaaaaaaaa .... the Easter names are soooo cute .... i had a good time at yahoo tonight ....

day before yesterday ...... I changed the commode seat ... I could not find a screw driver to fit so I used what I had and a pair of pliers ... I put on the original ... dumped the 4 month old one -- it had splits all round it and was pinchin my behind .... don't know why the boys is still good after 5 yrs .... I think maybe is cause his behind isn't as large as mine or the dad's ..... laffsssssss ..... his time is coming ..... laffsssss harder ..... I dug some in my flower bed again .... diggin up big clumps of weeds roots and all so I can transplant the weeds to the bank ... it worked last year why not this one tooo .... I took them up the bank ..... I have dug weeds for the last 3 days , today the boy helped me (cough-uh huh-cough) well he did help just not as much as I had hoped .... so today "I" tossed the big clumps up the bank ... the boy watched me , he did go up and place them root down ... then I climbed the bank and sewed some flower seeds and I walked sideways across the bank ..... so tomorrow I may not be able to walk or move ..... sheeshhhh ... I may take me a ty3 tomorrow if I hurt too bad ..... I'm going to put down some plastic under my rocks so the weeds aren't so bad inbetween the rocks .... then I be ready to watch the girls on Friday .... wonders if they eat jello ..... I fix it anyways if they don't I'll eat it .... hehehe .... I got em some watermelon kool-aid ... now wonders what to fix em to eat .... uuuummm that's how many meals... (3) yes I know .... oh and I need to fix them a snack ... I know maybe cupcakes ( don't tell them in case I don't fix that .... mean-ole-granmaw .... evil laff.... maybe thats where I got the witchy woman name .... LOL ...... granmaws just aren't what they used to be ...........

the man calls again tonight .... the boy answers da phone ... where's mom ?? .... why didnt she answer the phone ??? .... am i supposed to always n forever answer da phone .... noooo ... so he talks to da boy ... boy tells all about his upcoming competion .... he's excited ... gonna be in Nashville on his birthday .... competing .... stuff he hasnt told the dad yet .... stuff he found out today ... he has go to the other school after school to practice on the auto "the company" is sending to the other school .... almost every day for the next 2 1/2 weeks ... so he will be ready to win that scholorship ..... I talk to the man .... whatcha doin ..... same answer as always .... not much .... he is really excited about that trip isn't he ..... yep he is very excited about it ..... you outta go and watch him in Nashville .... ride the bus with him ... I can't ride the bus with him -- school insurance won't let me -- ..... yes they will , they used to let the parents .... lots has changed -- it's in school policy ... no .... have him ask to find out ... well follow the bus over there .... he'll have to find out first ..... they might not let me in "the place" where they havin the competion because of the "people" there ..... I'm gonna watch da girls Friday night ... ya are ,he laffs .... get you a hotel room n stay the night over there ... I'd need to know if I will be allowed to go .... well find out .... (boy standing over me)--- can I go to A's house .... ( I'm on the phone - I say) .... me off phone, boy leaves for A's house //// I came in got on the puter so I could play poker at yahoo was there maybe 15 mins ... bellsouth died again ..... sheeshhhh ...... ok I redialed ..... connected ..... yahoo was dead could not get into poker ... no one could it booted everybody ..... long time later .... yeaaaaa I got in ... we all talked a while , never did play poker .... some had their Easter names ... Jody's was cute so was Tay's .... they started leavin so I did too .... tried to get into tblog ... nope it was unable to find the www for it ..... so I went back to yahoo games and played yuma ... i kinda like it

the man calls again tonight .... the boy answers da phone ... where's mom ?? .... why didnt she answer the phone ??? .... am i supposed to always n forever answer da phone .... noooo ... so he talks to da boy ... boy tells all about his upcoming competion .... he's excited ... gonna be in Nashville on his birthday .... competing .... stuff he hasnt told the dad yet .... stuff he found out today ... he has go to the other school after school to practice on the auto "the company" is sending to the other school .... almost every day for the next 2 1/2 weeks ... so he will be ready to win that scholorship ..... I talk to the man .... whatcha doin ..... same answer as always .... not much .... he is really excited about that trip isn't he ..... yep he is very excited about it ..... you outta go and watch him in Nashville .... ride the bus with him ... I can't ride the bus with him -- school insurance won't let me -- ..... yes they will , they used to let the parents .... lots has changed -- it's in school policy ... no .... have him ask to find out ... well follow the bus over there .... he'll have to find out first ..... they might not let me in "the place" where they havin the competion because of the "people" there ..... I'm gonna watch da girls Friday night ... ya are ,he laffs .... get you a hotel room n stay the night over there ... I'd need to know if I will be allowed to go .... well find out .... (boy standing over me)--- can I go to A's house .... ( I'm on the phone - I say) .... me off phone, boy leaves for A's house //// I came in got on the puter so I could play poker at yahoo was there maybe 15 mins ... bellsouth died again ..... sheeshhhh ...... ok I redialed ..... connected ..... yahoo was dead could not get into poker ... no one could it booted everybody ..... long time later .... yeaaaaa I got in ... we all talked a while , never did play poker .... some had their Easter names ... Jody's was cute so was Tay's .... they started leavin so I did too .... tried to get into tblog ... nope it was unable to find the www for it ..... so I went back to yahoo games and played yuma ... i kinda like it

a used-up and worthless old woman ......... he called again tonight .... just to talk ..... he called Saturday night at 11:10 PM ... talked for over an hour ..... he was drunk again ..... I had woke up with the whopper headache I had went to bed with .... so again this morning I had another hangover headache ..... he drinks I get the headache ..... he told me things over and over and over last night .... tonight he asked me questions he asked me last night .... I told him again .... then I asked him " what you don't remember ?" ... he usually does .... of course I'm the one with "most-timers" it is so bad I have to write things down ... then lose the paper . .... remember again , write it down again then try and do it then . I just have too many things going on in my head .... it is full ...... but then it is always full of crap .... useless information . nothing to help me get a job ... I have No skills ... he wouldn't let me work .... "you stay home and raise the kids and take care of everything" .... well I did , the last one is almost 18 .... then What ??? .... 'ell if I know ..... no skills , too old , worthless , too worn out to work ( bad shoulders and back ) ..... yep that's me . that's the way I feel sometimes .... is just a fact ... nothing else . last night he hinted at me getting a job ..... I laughed to myself I had to reallllly bite my tongue ....... he throws it up in my face very often " you have a high school deployment " (he can not or will not use the right word) , yes I went and got my GED 10 yrs after I should have graduated and what did it get me .... not a dang thing ! he had a fit when he found out I had went to day school at the chruch so I could get my GED .... just because I wanted to get it just for me no-one else so I would have "finished" something . there is just too much going on that I can not control .... I do like my control ( what little I have of it ) ..... I did not tell him what I was thinking about , worrying about , hurting for ..... he only half listens and half understands then fills in the rest with what he Thinks is going on and why . the world does not revolve around him .... people do not do what he wants just seconds before he thinks of it .... if we did it would be done wrong anyway ...... there is no pleasing the man ! he did seem in a good mood last night and tonight . I did worry for a while last night , he says " you never tell me how much money I have in the bank" .... man oh man I could hear him cussing all the way from Okla. .... I never save enough .... well I did not tell him . so now he wants to send his oh so poor brother $500 to make brother feel better ... we just scrape by ... oh so poor brother has stocks and things ..... it would be to make himself feel better , be a big man ( in his own eyes ) .... he expects his sister to go in half for oh so poor brother .... she might . I wish we had stocks and things for his retirement ..... but I save money ... he spends money ....... after-all it is his !!!! I love him but he drives me crazy !!!!!!!

I had a long blog written out ... just moved the mouse to "pick a topic" then ........BLUE ..... page was gone .... I normally get that in Yahoo at the poker table ... I hit any key and return to the normal screen of Yahoo .... ok so my puter does not like blogging ..... stupid puter ! I will try to remember to write in wordpad then copy n paste to my blog maybe that will work . maybe I will rewrite my blog if I can remember what it was about .... sheeshhhhhh

How long does it take to Not remember you own Mother's voice ??? I realized I can't "hear" it anymore .... she's only been gone for how many years ??? Twenty - nine .... 29 .... that is so hard to even think about !!!!! I can still see her though ..... little glimpses of things she used to do or ways she looked at me. I also realized I never "really" heard Joseph's but I can still hear it on occasion ( he calls out -- "hey Mom" ) .... will it be gone in eleven more ??? I heard Juanita's for the first time a few weeks ago .... I thought it was Dawn at first .... I never heard Juanita's either ( she called out "hey Mom" too ) .... will her voice leave me in another eight years ???

White .... Black .... Shades of Gray .......... Smiles .... Tears .... Shades of Gray .......... Happy .... Sad .... Shades of Gray .......... Clear .... Confused .... Shades of Gray .......... Day .... Night .... Shades of Gray .......... Sun .... Rain .... Shades of Gray .......... Life .... Death .... Shades of Gray .......... It matters not .......... Shades of Gray

argggggg is a new word for me .... never knew how to spell it .... :roll: .... I tried to link to my DD-I-L's blog - it's not on tblog .... sighsss ... today went fairly well ..... got all my W-M shoppin done with DD didn't spend much (less than $60) .... WOW ... of course most of it was sodas ..... most expensive thing I bought was a cart for the pantry ... it was $10 ..... had to stop at Home Depot for "mad scientist" gloves for a wood project I'm doing this week ... I have to clean the wood with some kinda acid before I can paint it b/c it is pressure treated wood . Then there is the new junker in the yard DS's old truck for another DS to fix his up with ..... 2 junkers just left the other day ..... so 2 gone 1 replaced still got 5 or more to get rid of .... MEN !!!! DH called ( again) today to see what youngest DS had gotten done today ... he's on spring break this week .... he got less done than we told the Dad guy ..... laffssss .... he will do it, just on his terms - but before the Dad gets home ---- I'll see to it !! It was so warm today (76) I put on shorts. It was hot in the house and I turned off the heat. Tomorrow it will be much cooler (53). I will turn on the heat before I go to bed. My FlyLady Group met today I did not go ... scared I guess to meet people from the net.... I bought DD, DS & self food from Fazoli's (pasta place) took me two sittings to eat it all . I put together my new cart .... ok so I'm not impressed with it but it helps me keep the pantry straighter instead of just tossed in there. :D

Why do I feel the need to write during the day when I do not have time and can find nothing in complete sentences at night ???? Everything is just all jumbled together , it is like a tornado in my head .... swirling to and fro .... incomplete thoughts raging there too , bits and pieces wanting and needing to get out ..... screaming to be turned loose ....... "free me ... free me" they plead!!! Ok, so I know the answer already ..... I have left things unfinished for too long .... projects, housework, etc . I am going to have to get them done and soon so I will have some peace and quiet ( in my head anyways ). I will try to make a list of what I want to write about during the day so I will have it at night. I do like my lists !!!! Ok and I like to put things off ... but I have to get them done!

Yeah so I said ..... I went to bed round midnight ( the second time - wasn't lucky the first time ) got up at 4AM it is now 12:22PM . I was goin back to bed decided to take meds at 9:30 . I got home around 7AM after takin hubby to work for out of state job ..... stopped n got a McGriddle for me n son for breakfast it was ok ..... hubby was home for 7 days he was gone for 9 weeks so I just knew I was gonna get Loved a lot .... yeah rightttt .. 3 times!! bull ... grumble .... growl ..... Men !!! drama , drama , drama if it wasn't for drama I'd have no life at all . :evil: Oh well ! so now I am off to bed for a nap . D-DIL I need some color here n other stuff too .

ok ... good grief .... how do I do this ..... ty D-DIL ... ok that's all for now as I am posting this to the Humor Topic List .... roflmbo